Loving the Qur’an

I started to love reading Qur’an again. Before I used to find it boring especially reading the translation in Malay. I wish I know Arabic. I know the basic, tho, so I can figure out few words here and there. But it’s still not enough. I don’t have a circle of friends here that want to discuss about Qur’an. To discuss about how Qur’an transforms one’s life. I live alone. So, there is no motivation to dig deeper and understand the meaning of every word in the Qur’an.

.. so, after a while, reading Qur’an is like a task. Boring and dry.

Tonight, I read the Qur’an. I finished Surah Al Baqarah, Alhamdulillah! yay! The last ayah of that Surah really made me cry. These eyes of mine were dry and very stingy lately. I haven’t shed a tear of repentance. But, not anymore tonight. The last ayah really showed me the mercy of God. He taught me how to make du’a, and reminded me that He is the Most Forgiving. God told me, I can go through this test, because He won’t give a test that I can’t bear. He knows me.

I remember one of the halaqahs that I had in the Charlottesville masjid. We were discussing about Qur’an. One of the sisters said that everytime she had a question about life, etc., she opened the Qur’an.. and there, she found the answer.

I just found the answer to my question. Question that I dunno how to ask. It’s in my heart but I can’t express it in words. I opened the Qur’an, and there, God spoke to me. Alhamdulillah. Allah is the Most Merciful the Most Kind.

A Birthday Gift

In the middle of my overwhelming work, I just need to write down my thought and feeling at this moment. I am listening to Dhikr (Remembrance of Allah) while doing work to find peace and solace for my troubled heart. My work is manageable, but something is aching in my heart. I need to write..

Last night, I talked with Tant Aliaa. I cried when I heard her voice. Ya Allah, how I miss her. I wished her “Happy Birthday”, and she was so happy hearing my voice. Alhamdulillah.

There was one question from Tant Aliaa that stroked me the most – “How’s your Ramadan, Nourshams?”

“It was bad, Tant Aliaa. I just didn’t have the mood and discipline. I miss Ramadhan in Charlottesville.”

And Tant Aliaa asked me a gift for her birthday, “Nourshams, read the Qur’an a page a day and put the aim for Laylatul Qadr next Ramadhan. That will be my birthday present. Both of us will get the thawaab.”

Subhanallah.. I just cried when I heard that. It’s such a beautiful birthday gift request ever! I told her, I’m going to start giving her the birthday present starting from that night. So, after Isha’ prayer, I reached for my Pink Qur’an, wiped the dust away, and started reading a page a day. I put my niyah to get the Laylatul Qadr, and as a present for my beloved Tant Aliaa.

Insha Allah, I pray that I will be consistent in this ibadaah, so I can give Tant Aliaa a birthday present everyday, insha Allah. Please pray for me, as being istiqamah is the hardest thing for me.

Everything is so amazing and nobody is happy… » Suhaib Webb – audio, discussions, translations and musings

Pretty funny.. and quite true. We should be grateful with we have.

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Community Night: Revenge of the Fallen at Suhaib Webb

Alhamdulillah. Yay! I miss his talk in Malaysia but Alhamdulillah it’s online now.

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Tafsir of Surah Luqman – Part I

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Tafsir of Surah Luqman – Part II

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Are you ready for Ramadan?

I asked couple of Muslims here in Malaysia on their preparation for welcoming Ramadan. Most of them went silent for couple of seconds, and then, asked me back”.. what to prepare for Ramadan? It’s just like any other days..”

Wow.. I was shocked! Knock Knock.. wake up, Syams, you are now in a Muslim country where people treat Islam just like any other thing in their life. I miss my Muslims sisters and brothers in the States. They treat Islam like it’s a previous Gold. Whenever Ramadan come, I will remember two people – Tant Aliaa and Ayat. I had a blast fasting in Ramadan with Ayat. We did the count down for Ramadan every year, and every year we were amazed how fast Ramadan came. I miss you, Ayat.

Tant Aliaa taught me one thing – she always asked me what is my preparation and goal for Ramadan. I wrote down my goal for each Ramadan because I knew she would ask me. So, this year even though I am very far from Tant Aliaa, I still want to practice what she taught me. Ya Allah, bless her in this dunya and akhirah. Ameen.

Here are my goal for this Ramadan. By the end of Ramadan, I will re-visit this post to check whether I reach the goal:
1. Visits my parents on every weekend in Ramadan
2. Pray Taraweh at least for 15 nights
3. Read Quran at least 3 times a week (Target days: Monday, Wednesday, Friday)

Extra: Qiam-ul-Layl on the last 10 days of Ramadan!

Based on previous Ramadan, making checklist/goals for Ramadan helps me to focus and gain more during this Blessed Month. Maybe you can try too!

Approaching Ramadan: Late Night with Suhaib Webb

Let’s start preparing for Ramadan!

My Peaceful Village

I was at my village this weekend. I tried to go back home at least once in two weeks. I need to get away from this hectic, chaotic, and merciless city. Even though I’ve been to many cities around the world, and lived in many places, I still can’t blend in with the city life style. Even though, mostly I grew up in the cities around Malaysia, the most memorable of my childhood experience are those times I had in my grandma’s village – my cousins and I were climbing the Rambutan trees, fishing, and our always-failed haunting ghosts projects. We played Rounders (like the Baseballs, for city kids) and Congkak from dirt. We played with our Qurban goat until all of us smelled like one. Ohh my village, I miss you now.

I need to get away from the city to keep me sane. I need to hear the zikrullah of the trees, birds, river, and the wind. The trees and birds in the city are still chanting and praising God the Almighty but this sound of music is consumed by the noise of people who are busy chasing this materialistic world. The trees and birds in the village are always happy, singing praise to God, smiling to me, and whispering to me how God loves me so much. The trees and birds in the city seem to me a bit sad with people who forgot about God because of wealth and fame. They are sad to see these people chasing something that’s temporary. O human, how we are easily tempted by this temporary world.

It’s so good being at home, back to my root. At home, I didn’t hear the slanders caused by jealousy, but I heard the sound of Athan clearly. Masha Allah, all praise to God, it’s so beautiful. At home, I wasn’t part of the crowd who was consumed with the materialistic world, but I was part of a loving, caring family.

I love the village. Even though some of the village kids turn their back to their root, but the trees, birds, and the river are still there smiling back at me, chanting and praising God, and whispering to me that God loves me so much. Alhamdulillah.

I purified my heart, my soul, and myself to face the city again. The slanders, backbite, jealousy, greed will leave black spots on my heart, my soul, and myself again. I will return back to my village to find solace, to seek God’s forgiveness of sins I committed in the rat race.

On my way back to the city, I prayed to God to keep my village just the same — green, peaceful, and far away from the so called ‘modernized’ and ‘civilized’ cities.

Stupidity: Fooled by a manipulative Kancil!

I’m pretty angry and upset with what happened recently in Kuala Lumpur. Students, Teenagers, and women are involved with the illegal gathering. The police already warned them not to proceed with the gathering, or they will face the consequences. But the anti-ISA group still proceed with their stupid idea! Well, we see that they are bunch of losers who didn’t think at all. Congrats to the pro-ISA who walked to the Istana by himself, taking his time, and managed to arrive at the Istana. That’s a bright person, i tell ya. Smart~

For the anti-ISA group, doing these rally is not going to help you.. maybe it will help the manipulative Kancil to get to his Rambutan tree, but you all are being stepped on your heads by the Kancil. Remember, “Satu dua tiga lekuk, jantan betina aku ketuk”!

The shoppers had to close down their businesses on that day. Outsiders thought that Malaysia was in a big trouble, thus they are afraid to come to Malaysia or invest in Malaysia. Political instability! When our economy is down, worse than now, who is going to lose their jobs — that’s YOU, my dear anti-ISA supporters, not your so called Berjuang Untuk Rakyat “leaders”.

So think, my fellow Malaysians. Yes, we live in a democratic country, so demonstration is allowed. But, illegal street demonstration is not dignified at all, and ruining our own country. If you say you love Malaysia, there is some other way to show your protest. The way that will bring benefit to all Malaysians – the hawkers, students, homemakers, police officers, and maybe your Kancil too..

Also, please remember, those polices who had to dissolve your illegal gathering, they also have their families, their little children, who want their parents to be with them at home on Saturday. Please remember, the hawkers from the street market where you had your illegal gathering, they have kids to feed, waiting at home.

If you think your demonstration is Islamic, please think again.. doing it at a public place, and cause fear and losses to others, are these Islamic to you?

Think..